That was.... riveting. I guess.

Dear Harry,

We at Summit Entertainment are thrilled to announce that the Blu-Ray release of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse will feature an exclusive audio commentary track with Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart!

We know that you fanatical, fantasy-loving types who all still seem to have LiveJournal accounts for some reason, tend to waffle back and forth between fandoms, so we thought we'd find some Harry Potter sites to send some additional promotional materials.  Through our research, we found this site to be one of the most popular and significant within the extensive realm of Harry Potter fansites! Thus, we've included with this letter an exclusive peak at Pattinson and Stewart's commentary, a feature we're certain will enhance even the casual (if there is such a thing) Twilight fan's enjoyment of this historical cinematic event.  Enjoy!

Love,
Summit Entertainment

[Check out the staggering conversational abilities of Pattinson and KStew after the jump!]

Not that I... read that, or anything. When I'm hanging out in my cupboard. Alone.

Dear Harry,

I really fucking hate my brother.

Love,
Dave Davies

I think I once read a twincest fic that started out like this...

 Dear Harry,

I really fucking hate my brother.

Love,
Ray Davies

We cooked the pig in the ground, got some butterbeer on ice...

Dear Harry,

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME QUIDDITCH?!?!?

Yeah, me either.

Love,
Hank Williams, Jr.

Mrs. Norris doesn't seem to mind...

Dear Harry,

It's my face, isn't it?

Love,
Argus Filch

Welcome to the jungle, we've got subpoenas and copyright infringement suits!

Dear Harry,

I saw your latest film and in the scene where you are sitting in Hagar's sidecar escaping the bad guys I could hear you thinking of my song "Welcome to the Jungle" without my permission. Prepare to see me in court.

Love,
Axl Rose (lead singer, founder, owner, birther of Guns 'N Roses)

GOOSE LIVES!

Dear Harry,

Hey it's me, Goose! I'm alive! I've actually been living in the Bahamas for the past 24 years. Pete was starting to freak me out with his crush. For example, he would briefly brush his shoulder against my shoulder when we walked past each other in a hallway (even if the hallway was 20 feet wide). What a weirdo, right? So, naturally instead of telling him I wasn't interested, I faked my death. I most definitely do not feel the need...

Love,
Lt. Nick "Goose" Bradshaw

Harry gets all his best advice from alcoholic werewolves.

Dear Harry,

I really do think chocolate cures everything. Scrape on the knee? Eat some chocolate. Dog died? Eat some chocolate. Intestinal cancer? Eat some chocolate. It makes everything better. Especially when you wash it down with lots of gin.

Love,
Remus

I'm a way cooler old guy than Albus.

Dear Harry,

Let's get drunk and play 18 holes, then crash a college party. I'll tell you what I whispered to Scarlett Johansson at the end of Lost in Translation. Let's just say it wasn't in the script.

Love,
Bill Murray

He would know.

Dear Harry,

"Hedwig's Theme" was the shit.

Love,
Miles Davis

The sperm doesn't fall far from...

Dear Harry,

It's your dad. Congrats on being awesome! You're almost as awesome as I was and I didn't even have to do half the shit you've done to be twice as awesome as you are. Too bad you didn't die like I did because your awesomeness would have been preserved. You'll probably screw up somewhere down the road.

Love,
Your dad, James

The WikiLeaky Cauldron

Dear Harry,

Any way you can hide me out in the Room of Requirement? I think I pissed a couple people off.

Love,
Julian Assange

Booty or Duty?

Dear Harry,

It's either Call of Duty or me. Until you decide, you aren't getting any of this.

Love,
Ginny