Friday, October 29, 2010
I think my head might be boxier than Matt Damon's.
But... Don't tell your friends, okay?
James Van Der Beek
Give me your boots, your clothes, and your dead godfather's motorcycle.
Seriously. I'm about to be out of a job, and I'm gonna need all the help I can get.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Hairee Poddur -
MATT DAMON have new flickery thing!!!!
~GO SEE MATT DAMON EAT JUJUBEES!!~
MATT DAMON luv HAIREE PODDUR! :))))))))) :)))))!!!!!!1
So. I've been kind of broke lately (you know, recession and all that), and I had this job interview for a position writing for this thing called a "blog" -- Lois set it up for me when The Planet laid off all their staff writers -- and I figured it'd be a good idea to get some new clothes.
Anyway, since cash is tight, I thought I'd use a gift card for this place called, "Urban Outfitters," that I've had lying around for awhile. Next thing I know, people keep telling me it's "Twilight," asking if I'm a "vegan," and if I'm planning on moving to some place called "Williamsburg."
P.S. Who the fuck is Edward Cullen???
Sorry for shooting that issue of The Quibbler with a picture of your face on the cover in my last TV ad.
I really needed the votes.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Your recent statement, "When I see Dementors board
the same cart as mine on the Hogwarts Express, I get nervous,"
is racist and has caused us to reconsider your ability to freely
listen to us.
Despite my uncanny ability to predict the outcomes of World Cup football matches, I, like the emperor, could not foresee my own death.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Please ignore the lyrics to our theme song and wake us
up if we're dreamin'. We do A LOT of drugs and may be