Totally saw this letter coming...

Dear Harry,

President Obama was right about one thing in his State of the Union address when he said, "The future is ours to win". The future is a tangible thing. I know because I had it when I was alive and I had it buried with me when I died. You Americans will never find it!

(Please don't Wikipedia where I'm buried.)

Love,
Nostradamus

NSFW (Not Safe For Work)

Dear Harry,

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN I'M FUCKING INELIGIBLE TO RUN FOR MAYOR!?!?! THAT'S BULLSHIT!!! WHO MAKES THE RULES AROUND HERE!?!?!? THOSE ASSHOLES ARE OUT TO GET ME CAUSE THEY CAN'T FUCKING DEAL WITH SOMEONE AS FUCKING INTELLIGENT AS ME AND WITH SUCH A BIG DICK RUNNING THINGS!!!! THOSE SAME ASSHOLES ARE TRYING TO FUCKING TELL ME THAT MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING READ THE RULES BEFORE QUITTING MY WHITE HOUSE JOB TO RUN FOR MAYOR OF FUCKING CHICAGO!!! I'm fan of your books.

Love,

Rahm Emanuel

How does one SUCK on a chili dog?

Dear Harry,

People yell at me that they want to hear their favorite song "Jack and Diane". I refuse to acknowledge their pleas until they refer to it as what it really is: A LITTLE DITTY! Pisses me off!

Love,

John Mellencamp Cougar Mellencamp John Cougar Cougar John

True story...

Dear Harry,

Admit it. You secretly like me. I'm like that show Frasier. You groan when you first see me on screen, but you watch for a few minutes and you love me.

Love,

Ryan Reynolds

That...makes...sense...

Dear Harry,

People have been asking me what I meant when I said yesterday that if a dog walked up to Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers and Chicago quarterback Jay Cutler, the dog would lick Rodgers' hand and bite Cutler's leg. Dogs like winners, Harry. They also like cheese. That probably has something to do with it.

Love,

Terry Bradshaw