Dear Harry,
Have you seen my movie, yet? It's getting excellent reviews. You should probably update your status about it.
Love,
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Don't make me de-friend you, Harry...
Dear Harry,
Have you seen my movie, yet? It's getting excellent reviews. You should probably update your status about it.
Love,
Friday, October 1, 2010
This one's for you, Nick...
Dear Harry,
Wanna know something funny? I don't even LIKE Peter Gabriel.
Love,
Lloyd Dobler
We've gone over it at least ten times.
Dear Harry,
If you don't know what a fucking bezoar is, you can eat shit and die.
Love,
Professor Severus Snape
Maybe this is why he didn't get the job...
Dear Harry,
It would've been better if you were played by Johnny Depp and Hermione was played by my wife.
Love,
Tim Burton
We're fine, really...
Dear Harry,
We wish Bono would just leave us the hell alone.
Love,
Third World Countries
Excitement!
Dear Harry,
Everybody wins a brand new CAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAR! (YOU get a car and YOU get a car, and YOU get a car!)
Love,
Oprah
He's pretty eloquent, for a Vulcan...
Dear Harry,
Live long, and... Fuck it. Just don't die, alright?
Love,
Spock
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Nonchalance at its best...
dear harry,
ironically, we still like you.
p.s. you'll probably wanna stock up on deep v's and leggings before am-ap goes under.
p.p.s. not that we care.
- hipsters.
At least he's honest...
Dear Harry,
I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy. Also, I stole George Harrison's wife, but I wrote a really kick-ass song about her.
Love,
Eric Clapton
It was Bound to Happen Eventually...
Dear Harry,
For some reason, I just don't find bending over and pretending to speak from my anus all that funny anymore. Perhaps this is a sign of maturity.
Sincerely,
Ace Ventura, Pet Detective
Seriously, they're over it...
Dear Harry,
We really wish Kevin Costner would stop dancing with us.
Love,
Wolves
Always One for Modesty...
Dear Harry,
I totally would have beaten you in the Tri-Wizard Tournament.
Love,
Roger Federer (a.k.a. R-Fed)
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
I'll sew your little monster into my meat dress...
Dear Harry,
I was thinking about skinning you alive and making you into a dress. It'd be totally cutting edge, don't you think?
Call me.
Love,
Lady Gaga
Daddy Issues for One and All...
Dear Harry,
If you were John's kid, I might consider writing a song about you.
Love,
SIR Paul McCartney
Love, Fox
Dear Harry,
Tom Marvolo Riddle, who you know as "The Dark Lord Voldemort," is actually an extraterrestrial placed here on Earth by the U.S. government to cover up the existence of OTHER extraterrestrials by making the world think that the source of ultimate evil is NOT, in fact, extraterrestrials and smallpox-carrying bees, but is, instead, a dark wizard. Watch yourself.
Love,
Special Agent Fox Mulder, F.B.I.
No one cares, GL.
Dear Harry,
Podracing is way better than quidditch. Especially in 3-D.
Love,
George Lucas
I bet your mean aunt and uncle wouldn't have let you get them, either...
Dear Harry,
Power converters would've helped.
Love,
Luke Skywalker
Love, Eric Cartman
Dear Harry,
Regarding your parents' death: It was actually I who killed them--by grinding them up and making them into chili.
Love,
Eric Cartman
Never let go.
Dear Harry,
There was totally room for me on that floating piece of wreckage. Rose is a bitch.
- Jack Dawson
Heart of the Ocean
Dear Harry,
I want you to draw me like one of your French girls.
Love,
Rose Dewitt Bukater
I'm...cold.
Dear Harry,
You have been submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society.
Sincerely,
Are You Afraid of the Dark
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Love, President Pullman
Dear Harry,
Today, we celebrate our Independence Day.
Love,
President Pullman
Dear Harry - An Introduction
Dearest Readers,
With the beginning of the final film installment of the Harry Potter series a mere few months away, my partner and I began lamenting on how profoundly this enterprise of books, movies, videogames, message boards, fan fictions, fan arts, conferences, costumes, boardgames, candy, and now, even an amusement park, had impacted our lives.
After a few hours of sobbing hysterically into our buttbeers, we began to wonder how Harry's super epic confrontation with ultimate evil had affected the lives of some of our other favorite figures from the vast expanses of history and popular culture.
So, we called in quite a few favors, and performed only a handful of morally questionable (and quite possibly illegal) acts, to bring you the responses we have collected here today. Some are shocking, some heart wrenching, and, a surprising number of them impressively obscene, but all provide the answer to what is quite possibly the most important question of all time, space, and the universe:
If YOU could say one thing to Harry Potter, what would it be?
Thusly, we present to you: Open Letters to Harry Potter.
With Love and Fire Whiskey,
E.B. and H.G.
With the beginning of the final film installment of the Harry Potter series a mere few months away, my partner and I began lamenting on how profoundly this enterprise of books, movies, videogames, message boards, fan fictions, fan arts, conferences, costumes, boardgames, candy, and now, even an amusement park, had impacted our lives.
After a few hours of sobbing hysterically into our buttbeers, we began to wonder how Harry's super epic confrontation with ultimate evil had affected the lives of some of our other favorite figures from the vast expanses of history and popular culture.
So, we called in quite a few favors, and performed only a handful of morally questionable (and quite possibly illegal) acts, to bring you the responses we have collected here today. Some are shocking, some heart wrenching, and, a surprising number of them impressively obscene, but all provide the answer to what is quite possibly the most important question of all time, space, and the universe:
If YOU could say one thing to Harry Potter, what would it be?
Thusly, we present to you: Open Letters to Harry Potter.
With Love and Fire Whiskey,
E.B. and H.G.
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