Wednesday, February 2, 2011

TWO Starbucks?!?!



















Dear Harry,

Okay, okay I'll go, but can I at least stay until the lease on my sweet apartment is up? It's right between two Starbucks and I like to Eeny Meeny Miny Moe which one I go to every day.

Love,
President Hosni Mubarak

Who's your accountant? Willie Nelson?



















Dear Harry,

I have until 2015 to file last year's taxes, right?

Love,
Wesley Snipes

Just as long as he's NOT in charge of me...



















Dear Harry,

The Egyptian people have spoken. They not only want Charles in charge of their days, but their nights, too.

Love,
Scott Baio

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Totally saw this letter coming...




















Dear Harry,

President Obama was right about one thing in his State of the Union address when he said, "The future is ours to win". The future is a tangible thing. I know because I had it when I was alive and I had it buried with me when I died. You Americans will never find it!

(Please don't Wikipedia where I'm buried.)

Love,
Nostradamus

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

NSFW (Not Safe For Work)



















Dear Harry,

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN I'M FUCKING INELIGIBLE TO RUN FOR MAYOR!?!?! THAT'S BULLSHIT!!! WHO MAKES THE RULES AROUND HERE!?!?!? THOSE ASSHOLES ARE OUT TO GET ME CAUSE THEY CAN'T FUCKING DEAL WITH SOMEONE AS FUCKING INTELLIGENT AS ME AND WITH SUCH A BIG DICK RUNNING THINGS!!!! THOSE SAME ASSHOLES ARE TRYING TO FUCKING TELL ME THAT MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING READ THE RULES BEFORE QUITTING MY WHITE HOUSE JOB TO RUN FOR MAYOR OF FUCKING CHICAGO!!! I'm fan of your books.

Love,
Rahm Emanuel

How does one SUCK on a chili dog?



















Dear Harry,

People yell at me that they want to hear their favorite song "Jack and Diane". I refuse to acknowledge their pleas until they refer to it as what it really is: A LITTLE DITTY! Pisses me off!

Love,
John Mellencamp Cougar Mellencamp John Cougar Cougar John