Clearly, 152 Books is not enough.

Dear Harry,

Your series only has seven books in it??

Your life can't be that interesting, can it?

Love,
The Wakefield Twins

Finders keepers, bitch.

Dear Harry,

Can I have my ocarina BACK now, please?

Thanks.

- Link

You have been avoided out of existence.

Dear Harry,

Man, people avoided the shit outta me.

Love,
The Noid

Can you kill it, Harry?

Dear Harry,

I'M the final horcrux.

Love,
Boo

Shattered dreams...

Dear Harry,

I know people think I do really important things and all, but everyday, when I wake up...I just close my eyes and wish I were Mary Hart.

Or, better yet, Billy Bush.

Love,
Christiane Amanpour

Not only is it witchcraft, it's GAY witchcraft.

Dear Harry,

That whole... "Don't ask, don't tell" thing didn't really work out for us, either.

Love,
Dumbledore's Army

George Bush cares about Cop and a Half...

Dear Harry,

What Kanye said about me during Katrina is disgusting! I care about black people. I care about that little black boy in Harry Potter 3 who only had two lines. I love that little black boy. My favorite movie besides Harry Potter 3 is Cop and a Half. I love that little black boy.

Love,

Former President George W. Bush

Don't worry, Spot. It's not even real soda, anyway.

Dear Harry,

Any of your crazy wizard drinks wouldn't happen to be looking for a new mascot, would they?

According to the bastards at 7Up, I'm just not "COOL" enough any more.

Love,
Cool Spot

You might wanna pass this along to Crabbe and Goyle, too...

 Dear Harry,

Only YOU can prevent fiendfyres.

Love,
Smokey

Maybe it's the outfit.

Dear Harry,

Sometimes, I get the feeling nobody likes me very much.

Love,
Wesley

That Tri-Wizard tournament wasn't violent at all...

Dear Harry,

Your people don't care if a sport is... "too violent," do they?


Maybe we can work out a deal.

Love,
Football (The AMERICAN kind)

Go cry with Cornelius Fudge about it.

Dear Harry,

Another 140 million dollars well spent.

Love,
Meg Whitman

There's no place you can hide...

Dear Harry,

The rhythm is gonna get you. I swear it in blood!

Love,
Gloria Estefan

The San Francisco Giants have won the World Series.

Dear Harry,

We can't fucking believe it, either.

Love,
The San Francisco Giants, and their various trademark growths of facial hair