There are.... No words.

Dear Harry,

I finally got around to reading your series (being filthy rich and Mormon can be quite time consuming), and... I can see why it isn't doing so well.

Since I'm a writer myself, I took the liberty of making a few teensy, weensy changes that I really think will help the book connect a bit more with readers and, "bring the lulz," as the kids would say. ; ) 

I hope you enjoy my edits, and wish you nothing but the best in your future endeavors.

Love,
Stephenie Meyer

P.S. I'm sorry to hear about your newest film -- I'm sure it'll do better next time!



~*~  Hermione Granger and the Dusky Dawn  ~*~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~}~@ ****** Prologue ****** @~{~~~

I never thought much about how I would die.  Frankly, I've always found the subject of my own (increasingly imminent) demise quite unpleasant, so I really do my best to avoid thinking about it -- even if that means not thinking about much of anything at all (I've never been much good at it anyway, thinking).

Lately, however, death and all of its residual ickyness seems to be an unavoidable part of my existence.  It follows me wherever I go, plaguing my thoughts, taunting me whenever I demurely glance at crack in the sidewalk and suffer a compound fracture to my femur and snap a few ribs in half.  Clumsiness (no matter how endearing), really has its drawbacks.



But, in spite of my best efforts, recent events have really got me thinking about things again.  Like my own mortality.  And now I know, that, when I die, it will be in a way that is so admirably self-sacrificing and beneficent that  the people I love will have no choice but to adore me even more than they did before.  They'll love me so much that they'll gather around my delicately lifeless body in a hushed, despondent reverence, smoothing my waist-length, auburn hair with subtle, naturally occurring crimson highlights, with shaking hands.

They'll love me so much, that they won't even be able to bring themselves to comment on the fact that if I had simply listened to all of the wiser, more skillful people around me, and not gotten so caught up in my need to be desperately martyred, that everything probably would have worked out.  In the end.

I will be cherished, even in death.  Because, above all else, that is my one desire: to be loved.  I would forsake it all: friends, family, ambition, education; indeed, even free will itself, for nothing, but to be loved.

To be loved.  Especially... By him.


*~*~*~*~*~* Chapter 1 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A Magical Awakening  <3 <3 <3

Standing outside the entrance of the Great Hall, I peered up at the gray, dreary British sky hanging above Hogwarts.  The air always seemed heavy there, much heavier than back at my sunny, American home.  I missed its great warmth and freedom, the vast, monochrome expanses of its desert plains and strip malls.  Everything in this place was wet, and green; moist, dripping with things that I couldn't even begin think about, especially since I'm not married yet.

Shivering, I pulled my massive, plaid (plaid keeps the rain out better) parka more tightly around my thin, fracturable shoulders, and sighed.  Great.  Another year in this craphole castle.
................

That's it, for now! I'll be sure to send the rest your way as I finish it.  Oh! And I was thinking, maybe we could use something like this for the cover art:

Isn't that adorable?!

Mormon Kisses,

Steph