Dear Harry,
I'm writing to you because you are mankind's only hope. It seems that the news of Natalie Portman's engagement and pregnancy has sent the nerd community into a homicidal rage. Nerds everywhere are killing male ballet dancers and Frenchmen in droves in the hopes they will eventually reach their new nemesis, Benjamin Millepied. Use your magic and save the arts and culture from this purge. More importantly, what will I do with no male ballet dancers or Frenchmen to date?
Love,
Anderson "Silver Fox" Cooper
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