Act before you think...

Dear Harry,

Your recent statement, "When I see Dementors board
the same cart as mine on the Hogwarts Express, I get nervous,"
is racist and has caused us to reconsider your ability to freely
listen to us.

Love,
Vivian Schiller
NPR President

Journalistic integrity?

Dear Harry,

I was fired from NPR, too.

Love,
Rita Skeeter

He's just some squib...

Dear Harry,

Seriously, who the fuck is Edward Cullen?

Love,
Cedric Diggory

Good luck betting on the Quidditch Cup this year...

Dear Harry,

Despite my uncanny ability to predict the outcomes of World Cup football matches, I, like the emperor, could not foresee my own death.

Love,
Paul

Touchy, touchy...

Dear Harry,

Don't violate me.

Love,
The Prime Directive

In Pog form!

Dear Harry,

Where the FUCK ARE MY ALF POGS?!?!?!?!?!?

Seriously,
Milhouse Van Houten

Surf dudes with attitudes...

Dear Harry,

Please ignore the lyrics to our theme song and wake us
up if we're dreamin'. We do A LOT of drugs and may be
OD-ing. Thanks.

Love,
California Dreams