Jeeze... So SENSITIVE.

Dear Harry,

I'd just like to let you know that my existence makes COMPLETE sense, and that constantly being referred to as some sort of "cosmic joke" all the time is pretty hurtful.

Love,
Ted the Duck-Billed Platypus

Why did I give her my number?

Dear Harry,

Did I happen to text you my New Year's resolution this weekend? I forgot it. Seems like it was "Don't..." something. Grrr. This happens every year!

Love,
Lindsay Lohan

Not that I... read that, or anything. When I'm hanging out in my cupboard. Alone.

Dear Harry,

I really fucking hate my brother.

Love,
Dave Davies

A most angry inch...

Dear Harry,

Heard you needed a new Hedwig. I'll bring the Zima.

Love,
Hedwig Robinson

Clearly, 152 Books is not enough.

Dear Harry,

Your series only has seven books in it??

Your life can't be that interesting, can it?

Love,
The Wakefield Twins

Not only is it witchcraft, it's GAY witchcraft.

Dear Harry,

That whole... "Don't ask, don't tell" thing didn't really work out for us, either.

Love,
Dumbledore's Army

Maybe it's the outfit.

Dear Harry,

Sometimes, I get the feeling nobody likes me very much.

Love,
Wesley

Touchy, touchy...

Dear Harry,

Don't violate me.

Love,
The Prime Directive

Surf dudes with attitudes...

Dear Harry,

Please ignore the lyrics to our theme song and wake us
up if we're dreamin'. We do A LOT of drugs and may be
OD-ing. Thanks.

Love,
California Dreams

The most magical day of all time.

Dear Harry,

Join me.

Love,
Adrien Brody

If Ron Burgundy says it, it's the TRUE.

Dear Harry,

Tell that scorpion woman, Hermione, that the proper translation of "San Diego" is, in fact, "a whale's vagina."

Believe me, I would know.

Stay Classy,
Ron Burgundy, KVWN-TV Channel 4 Evening News

We'll probably rerelease this in 3-D in a few years...

Dear Harry,

FML.

Love,
The Titanic

Dance, magic, dance!

Dear Harry,

I find your offer to play Griphook in your latest film most intriguing, but I'm afraid I must decline.  While I believe Griphook to be a most admirable goblin, I feel playing a common, former bank employee would only serve to compromise the integrity of my exquisite performance as Jareth, the Goblin King.

I'm sure you understand.

Love,
David Bowie

Don't worry, Brett. It happens to the best of us...

Dear Harry,

Don't send "lewd photos" of your penis to nice ladies on the internet.  No matter how many times they've been in Playboy.

Love,
Brett Favre

Ambitious dinos win.

Dear Harry,

We can write now, too.

Love,
Velociraptors

P.S. John Hammond was a dick, anyway.

Let's see you get a reservation at Dorsia NOW...

Dear Harry,

Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?

Love,
Patrick Bateman

P.S. Your friend Ron is a dickweed.  A tumbling, tumbling dickweed.

What's a man without his man jewelry?

Dear Harry,

Do you have my other earring?

Love,
Rob Lowe

He's pretty eloquent, for a Vulcan...

Dear Harry,

Live long, and... Fuck it. Just don't die, alright?

Love,
Spock

Nonchalance at its best...

dear harry,

ironically, we still like you.

p.s. you'll probably wanna stock up on deep v's and leggings before am-ap goes under.
p.p.s. not that we care.

- hipsters.

At least he's honest...

Dear Harry,

I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy. Also, I stole George Harrison's wife, but I wrote a really kick-ass song about her.

Love,
Eric Clapton