Totally valid question, Draco...

Potter,


Why are these books about you again?

Fuck off,
Draco

P.S. Could you tell that asshole Chris Columbus that I don't need to randomly steal things? My family's RICH.  Thanks.

We only like our environmental preservation quiet...

 Dear Harry,

If you could've just taught everyone how to use that silencio spell, that would've been helpful.

Love,
Compostable Sun Chips Bags

McFly!......?

Dear Harry,

Did you know they originally cast me to play you
in the film version of The Sorcerer's Stone?
We were 5 weeks into shooting and all of a sudden
Chris Columbus looks at me and says, "There's
something really wrong with you."

Love,
Eric Stoltz

*sniff* *sniff* Who put on the Hoobastank?

Dear Harry,

If you ever piss Ginny off, just throw on our song
"The Reason" and watch the panties drop.

Love,
Hoobastank

Yeah? Well, I'm taller...

Dear Harry,

Pop quiz, hot shot!
Your friend Ron just drank some poisoned mead. He's
foaming at the mouth and convulsing on the floor. What
do you do?
WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!?

Love,
Officer Jack Traven, LAPD

Let's see you get a reservation at Dorsia NOW...

Dear Harry,

Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?

Love,
Patrick Bateman

P.S. Your friend Ron is a dickweed.  A tumbling, tumbling dickweed.

He really doesn't get it...

Dear Harry,

What IS the deal with quidditch, anyway?

Love,
Jerry Seinfeld